She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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