kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Two words: blizzard sex
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
