my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Im part way to drunk.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize