so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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