you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
