Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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