You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
