I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
