Porn is love you can see.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
