LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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