I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
