erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
