At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
