My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
