just tell him i said nine months
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
