why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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