The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
