I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
