'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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