New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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