Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize