Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
