Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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