if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
