Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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