Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
