hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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