God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
sarcasm needs its own font
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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