I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
