I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
