Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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