your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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