I hate all girls vehemently.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
