i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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