had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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