How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
