Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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