Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
