I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
