I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
we should paint friendship bongs
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