I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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