So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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