She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
