cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
