are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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