this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Im part way to drunk.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize