The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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