i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
