Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
