So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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