yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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