My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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