YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
