:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
