D3 body, D1 cock
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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