no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
