Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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