I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
