Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
