She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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